Apparently nobody lies anymore

Dear America,

I’d like to tell you a little bit more about me.

My blog is read and enjoyed by millions of people…people of every nation, religion, and gender love what I write. I have earned two doctorates. During the Northridge earthquake, I saved 5 people from a collapsed building. I hold the record for the fastest quarter mile at the Pomona NHRA dragstrip. I was the featured performer in the halftime show in Super Bowl XXII. I speak 8 languages fluently and can converse in 12 others.

Wow! What an amazing life…if any of it were true, it certainly would be. But I am not lying to you or purposely trying to mislead…no, far from that.

Maybe 25 people read this…I must have misrepresented my readership. I apologize.

I left college as a freshman…I misremembered my college career. I am truly sorry.

I got out of my own home during the earthquake…but never saved anyone…I mistakenly said that I had and for that I beg your pardon.

I took drag racing lessons, and while I did well…I never set a record. I misrecalled that day and I owe you all an apology.

I was on the field with hundreds of other performers and was not the lead in the halftime show. I misarticulated the events of that day and I ask your forgiveness.

I misspoke when I said I was fluent in 8, and can converse in 12 other, languages. I beseech you to accept this confession.

See…no one lies…they may say something obviously untrue…but it was all a misunderstanding and they didn’t mean any harm…because they were caught.

That right there is the key point…no one embellishes a fact of their lives and then comes out and admits it. Only once they have been caught do the tears flow and the apologies begin. That leads me to wonder how stupid these people think any of us are…

We have the internet…we have access to almost any information in all of recorded history just .41 seconds away. I looked up Senator Blumenthal and the Viet Nam lies… it took .41 seconds to get 221,000 articles with mention of it.

He said when called out about his lies, “I may have misspoken, I did misspeak on a few occasions out of hundreds that I have attended (in honor of the military)…I regret that I misspoke.” He went on to say that he was “unaware of those misplaced words when they were spoken.”

Wow! He misspoke…he regrets that he misspoke…and he was unaware that he hadn’t been in Viet Nam when he said he was in Viet Nam….shame on him. Or…is it shame on the people of Connecticut? This all came out before the election…people knew he would stand up in front of them and lie about his military service record…and they went ahead and voted for him anyway. He wouldn’t admit to lying…he just misspoke…and he still became Senator.

What lesson does that teach the kids? “Hey kids! Lie your butts off…and if you get called out, just say you “misrecalled” the events.” Do you think any of those people who voted for this senator would accept that behavior from their children?

“Hey Jimmy, what did you get in History?”

“I got an A plus!”

(…three days later when the report card comes home)

“Jimmy! This says you got a D in History!”

“Oh…I misremembered the grades”

“No problem, Jimmy…let’s go buy you some ice cream.”

…and end scene. Ridiculous, no? Yet that is what we accept and allow from our elected officials. Hillary Clinton was almost our president even though she claimed to land under heavy sniper fire in Bosnia. Perhaps she believed that no one in Bosnia had cameras or could write…Her response when called out about the fact that none of what she said happened? “I made a mistake”..and she had a “different memory”…different memory? That might be my favorite euphemism yet. I am not lying…I am having different memories.

Lest you think I am aiming this solely at one party…oh no, this isn’t party specific…the Republicans are experimenting with what they call alternative facts. I see…so you aren’t lying about the crowds, you are giving us alternative facts? I will admit that it certainly has a nicer sound to it than misrecalling.

Please note that I am not saying that I expect my politicians to be error-free. I get that a decimal in the wrong place or saying something happened in 2013 when it was 2009 happens. Those are mistakes…telling me, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” is just an outright lie.

People ask me why I voted for Johnson in this last election…and among the main reasons was his handling of the “Aleppo incident”. (If any one of you is calling it Aleppogate, you can leave now…I wish I knew who was the first person to tag -gate on something after Watergate. They do know that Watergate was named for the office complex involved in the break in, right?) As I was writing…Johnson flubbed a question about Aleppo…and while many rose to his defense, he didn’t. He stood up and did what very few politicians do anymore. Admitted he was wrong…admitted he should have known the answer…admitted that someone running for the office of POTUS should have been better informed. No excuses…holy crap was that refreshing. He explained what happened and then took full responsibility for his own actions. Personal responsibility from a politician? Why can’t we have that more often?

So, I am left with two choices…I can use this weakness in the American people and run for office. I’ll use my puffed up resume (as seen above) to get my foot in the door and then throw out a lot of apologies about misremembering and what I am going to coin as my term, “Antithetical characteristics”. I should trademark that for sure. #antitheticalcharacteristics

My other option? Stop accepting lies from my politicians. Mistakes, yes…that whole “being human” thing sort of requires that. I will accept no more lies…and I will move that you do the same…and push your friends as well. Regardless of party or politics, we should all be able to come together on this topic.  Republicans need to call out Trump and team on their lies…don’t defend him just because you voted for him. Hold him and all the elected officials/cabinet members to a higher standard.

Same goes for you, Democrats. Call out your party officials on their lies. We hold the power in our hands at every election. We can stop electing the liars…we can stop saying, “Yes…please shovel another load of donkey manure onto our plates.” These people work for us…we need to set much higher standards. You would fire an employee who was caught lying about their background to get the job. Why then, do we not fire the elected officials who do the same?